Social Development Milestones: Ages 1 to 4

By Linda DiProperzio

Not sure if your child is on the right track for developing social skills? Be on the lookout for these indicators.

Whether you have an outgoing or shy little one, socialization is an important part of your child's overall development. "[A] baby's social development is tied to so many other areas," says Heather Wittenberg, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist specializing in child development. "Walking, in particular, triggers a cascade of milestones. And since most children begin to walk around the one-year mark, this is when you'll really start to see some big social milestones occur."

These milestones are important because they prepare a child to manage personal feelings, understand others' feelings and needs, and interact in a respectful and acceptable way. Find out what to expect when it comes to your child's social development.

Age 1

Although mommy-and-me programs are a great way to introduce your toddler to other kids, he will pick up most of his social cues from you. At this age, you'll notice your baby is able to:

Begin basic communication. One-year-olds will predominantly point and vocalize to express their intentions, says Maria Kalpidou, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Assumption College in Worcester, Massachusetts. It's important to interact with your toddler by acknowledging what he's looking at and pointing out other cool things around him.

Recognize familiar people. When he sees Grandma and Grandpa, the babysitter, the pediatrician, and other familiar people, your toddler will begin to greet them with a smile (or a cry, depending on his mood!). "If the baby isn't paying attention to anyone around [him], that is definitely a red flag," Dr. Wittenberg says. "You want him to be aware of what -- and who -- is around him, even if he cries when someone besides Mom and Dad walks into the room."

Interact with you. If your child hands you toys, this shows his willingness and ability to engage with others. This also sets the stage for lessons in taking turns, but don't expect too much on the sharing front just yet. "Back-and-forth playing is so important," Dr. Wittenberg says. "You want your child to show signs of independence but also to be keyed into appropriate social situations."

Age 2

Around this age, your child is engaging more with those around her, but she still prefers to play with Mom and Dad. Right now, your child is able to:

Begin to socialize. Children typically engage in parallel play at this age; this means that they play next to instead of with each other. "There isn't a lot of interaction with kids at this stage but it's still important to give your child time with other kids," Dr. Wittenberg says.

Defend territory. This is the age where kids start fighting over toys and declaring, "It's mine!" Sharing is, of course, very difficult at this age, as 2-year-olds can't see another child's perspective. "Their social behavior reflects egocentric thinking, and their behavior is guided by their desires," Dr. Kalpidou says. Model sharing and taking turns with your spouse to help your child learn these important social actions.

Extend relationships to other people. Showing an interest in others is a key part of socialization, and kids will begin to seek out interactions beyond those with Mom and Dad. Whether it's playing with Grandma and Grandpa or waving hello to the cashier at the market, your toddler is learning to enjoy the company of others. Although some kids aren't as outgoing around others, don't be so quick to label them as "shy." "Parents often see shyness as a negative, but it's normal for kids to be slow to warm [up] to people they don't know or don't see very often," Dr. Wittenberg explains. "Give your child time to adjust to new situations and follow her lead."

Age 3

Your child might soon be starting preschool, where he'll have other peers to socialize with and a chance to forge a few friendships. Right now, you'll notice that he is able to:

Seek out others. Associative play begins at this age, so your child will start to look for other kids. "It's important at this stage to give your child plenty of opportunities to spend time with peers," Dr. Wittenberg advises. But your child will need help in navigating these social situations. Although he can understand some behavioral and safety rules, offer gentle reminders about sharing and taking turns.

Use his imagination. Dress-up, pretend play, and other creative activities will be part of playdates. "Your child will also make friends based on mutual interests," Dr. Kalpidou says. The concept of sharing can still be hard for kids this age, but this is also a time where they can understand compromise and be respectful of one another. "Kids this age are more likely to solve conflicts with friends in order to maintain their play and show more positive behaviors to one another," Dr. Kalpidou adds.

Start to understand emotions. Your child still learns best from you, so point out different feelings (happy, sad, scared) when watching TV or reading a book. This will help your child be more aware of his own feelings as well as those of others. Also, kids will start to show empathy by offering hugs and kisses when needed.

Age 4

Kindergarten is right around the corner, and your big girl will soon learn the ropes of socializing with new friends. At this age, she is able to:

Show interest in being part of a group. Your child now enjoys playing with others and interacting with her peers more. Experts say this is a good age to sign kids up for a sports team, such as soccer or T-ball. "Choose activities where there aren't too many rules or restrictions," Dr. Wittenberg suggests. "If not, it can ruin the experience for them and they'll never want to play again."

Share and cooperate more with others. There will still be tugs-of-war over toys, but your child can understand the concept of sharing and waiting her turn. "There is an increased awareness of other people's minds, which allows children to develop negotiation skills, resolve conflicts verbally, monitor the emotional state of a group, and regulate other children's behavior," Dr. Kalpidou says.

Be physically affectionate. By now your little one is offering plenty more hugs and kisses to you and showing affection toward family and friends, especially when she sees them in distress. "Kids this age engage in more pro-social behaviors, such as sharing and expressing sympathy," Dr. Kalpidou says.

Exert more independence. The catch-22 of parenting is that you want your child to be more independent, but she often picks the worst times to do things her way, as when she insists on dressing herself when you're running late, or when she wants to help you put away her toys (but in the wrong place). Still, being confident and comfortable in her own abilities is an important part of successfully socializing, especially as she gets older.

Copyright © 2013 Meredith Corporation.

Read -Read- Read The Importance of Reading to your Child from an Early Age

“Just one more please,” these are magical words to a parent’s ear.  Not many children will pass up a book.

New research at the 2017 Pediatric Academic Societies Meeting shows that reading books with a child beginning in early infancy can boost vocabulary and reading skills four years later, before the start of elementary school.

The abstract, “Early Reading Matters: Long-term Impacts of Shared Book reading with Infants and Toddlers on Language and Literacy Outcomes,” was presented on at the Moscone West Convention Center in San Francisco.

“These findings are exciting because they suggest that reading to young children, beginning even in early infancy, has a lasting effect on language, literacy and early reading skills,” said Carolyn Cates, PhD, lead author and research assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at New York University (NYU) School of Medicine. “What they’re learning when you read with them as infants,” she said, “still has an effect four years later when they’re about to begin elementary school.”

Research also shows that reading to a child at any age: 

·         Increases/enhances vocabulary

·         Strengthens bonds between child and parent

·         Supports prereading skills

  Supports communication

·         Increases a child’s independent reading

As the holiday season approaches and the time for gift buying and giving is upon us, let us not forget to include books in the buying and giving.  Make sure there is lots of family time planned with reading time at the top of the list. 
Happy reading!

For more information on the benefits click on the link below.

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2016/08/08/the-merits-of-reading-real-books-to-your-children/?mwrsm=Email

Why Kids Benefit From Fewer Toys

 By

 Emily Wade

 May 25, 2017 

Renown child educator, Maria Montessori said “Play is the child’s work.” She meant that children are not just playing when they play, but they are working. Play is an important part of child development, and the types of toys that a child interacts with shapes their understanding of the world around them. Toys are the tools children use to accomplish their work, but it is best for the amount of toys that a child has to be limited.

Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., writes about the importance of play in his award-winning book Playful Parenting. He states ‘Through play, they (children) practice cooking, cleaning, going to work, fighting, taking care of the baby—every adult activity they see around them. This kind of playful practice, performed over and over, makes them more confident.’ The author also says that play helps children cope with problems ranging from big traumas to little upsets and helps them process the new information they receive every day.

Toys help children play. They also help children self-entertain and become independent. It may seem that more toys provide more entertainment and help the child work, but that is not the case.

Here are reasons why it is best to keep toys minimal and simple:

1. Kids with less use their imagination more. Without many toys, children use their craft of pretending to imagine the scenario in which they are working. Studies show that Einstein was right when he stated that “the true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”

2. Kids maintain focus. Less toys mean less distractions teaching the child to focus on the task at hand. Toys that provide excess stimulation have been linked to ADHD.

3. Kids interact more with others. Communications skills are not innate; they are learned. Having less stuff allows for less to get in the way of social interactions. When children pretend together, they communicate together.

4. Kids learn to respect what they have. A child is more likely to value their work when they know they don’t have replacements.

5. Kids are more educated. When you choose toys like books, blocks, art supplies and puzzles, children work on skills like reading, building, drawing, and writing. Such toys can incorporate lessons about the world that the child is immersed in rather than distract them from it.

6. Kids become resourceful. Kids learns to use what they have to get the job done.

7. Kids share. As parents, we want our children to put people over possessions and to not be greedy. Interacting with others without objects coming between them allows children to value people over things.

8. Kids learn mastery. As a child focuses on a certain toy, they learn to master it and to be proud of their accomplishments.

9. Kids realize they can’t have everything they want. As it goes, “you can’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.” Parents may worry that not giving their child what their peers have may make them unpopular or feel under privileged, but it teaches them that a persons identity is built by character, not possessions.

10. Kids appreciate nature. Children have tons of fun outdoors once they are out there, but it may be hard to get them outside if they have endless entertainment inside the home.

11. Kids learn to be happy with what they have. What a child needs most is love, and they will learn that love and happiness can’t be bought.

12. Kids learn the value of having a tidy environment.. A child will not have to dig through toy boxes and dump things about because having minimal toys allows for “a place for everything, and everything in its place.”

So what can you do when family and friends flood your house with toys for your children?

Over time, children will get bored with their toys and need more variety, but they do not need all of the toys at once. Toys can be stored and rotated to introduce new toys while keeping the amount of toys in use minimal.

Parents can kindly suggest that family members give toys like blocks, balls, shapes, puzzles and art supplies rather than loud, flashy objects and that require little to no imagination or fine motor skills. You can also request non-toy gifts or encourage the child to give excess to charity.