7 key phrases
Montessori teachers use and why we should use them, too
Montessori can be hard to
sum up in just a few words—it is a philosophy on education and child
development that runs deep. It’s a way of seeing the world. I think one of the
easiest ways to get an idea for what Montessori means is to listen to the
language that Montessori teachers use.
Montessori teachers use
language that respects the child and provides consistent expectations. Words
are chosen carefully to encourage children to be independent, intrinsically
motivated critical thinkers.
Here are seven common
phrases you’d probably hear in any Montessori classroom, and how to incorporate
them into your home life.
1. “I
saw you working hard.”
The focus on process over
product is a key tenet of Montessori. We avoid telling the children “good
work” or “your work is beautiful” and instead comment
on how they concentrated for a long time, or how they wrote so carefully and
their work could be easily read by anyone.
Praising your child’s
hard work, rather than his results, helps instill a growth mindset where he
believes he can improve through his own efforts.
Instead of telling your
child, “You’re a good boy,” tell him “I noticed you
being kind to your little brother yesterday when you shared your truck.” This
shows him you see his good behavior, without placing judgments on him. Instead
of telling him, “You’re such a good artist,” try, “I
noticed you kept working on your picture until you got it just how you wanted
it.”
2.
“What do you think about your work?”
In Montessori, the child
is his own teacher. The teachers are there as guides to give him lessons and
help him but he discovers things for himself through the carefully prepared
environment and materials.
Self-analysis is a big
part of that discovery.
When your child asks you, “Do
you like my picture?” try asking her about it instead of just saying
you love it. Ask her what she thinks about it, how she decided what colors to
use, and what her favorite part is. Help her start to evaluate her work for
herself, rather than looking for your approval.
3.
“Where could you look for that?”
Independence is another
key value in any Montessori classroom or home. Our goal as teachers is to help
the children do things for themselves. So while it’s sometimes easier to simply
answer a child’s question about where something is or how to do something, we
often answer questions with another question such as, “Where could you
look for that?” or “Which friend could you ask for help?”
If your son loses his
shoe and you see it peeking out from under the bed, try asking leading
questions, rather than just handing it to him.
“Where were you when you
took your shoes off? Have you checked your room?” This may take a little more time, but it will be worth it when
he starts taking more initiative and coming to you less.
4.
“Which part would you like my help with?”
In a Montessori
classroom, children are responsible for many things, including taking care of
their environment. Children often take great pride in this responsibility,
spending time arranging flowers to put on tables, watering the garden, and
happily washing the windows and tables.
Sometimes though, a job
is just too big and overwhelming. In these cases, we ask the child how we can
help. We don’t want to swoop in and “save the day,” sending the message that
the child is not capable, but we also don’t want to leave the child
overwhelmed.
For example: If your
child is tired, but needs to put her Legos away before bed, all of those pieces
can be overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing though. Try “which
color would you like me to put away” or “I’ll put away the
yellow pieces and you put away the blue” to show that you’re in it
together.
5. “In
our class, we ….” (Or at home— “In our home, we…”)
This little phrase is
used to remind the children of any number of classroom rules and desired
behaviors. Phrasing reminders as objective statements about how the community
works, rather than barking commands, is much more likely to elicit cooperation
from a child.
“In our class, we sit
while we eat” is less likely to incite a
power struggle than “Sit down.”
Like all of us, children
want to be a part of the community, and we simply remind them of how the
community works.
If you have a rule about
walking in the house, instead of “stop running,” try
saying “we walk inside our house” and see if you get fewer
arguments.
6.
“Don’t disturb him, he’s concentrating.”
Protecting children’s
concentration is a fundamental part of the Montessori philosophy. Montessori
classes give children big blocks of uninterrupted work time, usually three
hours. This allows children to develop deep concentration, without being
disturbed because the schedule says it’s time to move on to learning something
else.
It can be tempting to
compliment a child who is working beautifully, but sometimes even making eye
contact is enough to break their concentration.
Next time you walk by
your child while he’s focused on drawing a picture or building a tower, try
just walking by instead of telling him how great it is. You can make a mental
note and tell him later that you noticed him concentrating so hard on his
creation.
7.
“Follow the Child.”
This last one is an
important one. It’s something Montessori teachers say to each other and to
parents—not to the child. We often remind each other to “follow the child,” to
trust that each child is on his or her own internal developmental timeline,
that he is doing something for a reason.
This reminds us to search
for the reason behind the behavior. It reminds us that not all children will be
walking by one or reading by four—they haven’t read the books and couldn’t care
less about the milestones they are “supposed to” reach.
Following the child means
remembering that each child is unique and has his own individual needs,
passions, and gifts, and he should be taught and guided accordingly.
If you can’t get your
child interested in reading, try watching what he does love—if he loves being
silly, it may be that a joke book is what piques his interest, not the
children’s classic you had in mind. Remembering to “follow your child” can help
you see him in a different way and work with him instead of against him.
One of beautiful things
about Montessori is that it is so much more than a type of
education—it is a way of seeing and being with children. Even if your child
does not go to Montessori school, you can easily bring the ideas into your home
and watch your child’s independence and concentration grow.
Christina is a Montessori
teacher for 3-6 year olds, certified by the American Montessori Society. She
currently stays home to take care of her son, James. She lives in Austin,
Texas, and writes a blog,http://montessoriishmom.com, chronicling her
journey through motherhood the Montessori way.
Getting the family out the door on time every morning is no
small feat. Seemingly simple tasks like getting dressed, packing backpacks and
making breakfast can quickly turn into chaos. Before you know it, you're
running late and the kids haven't even eaten as you dash to the car.
